It was the first falling together I’ve felt in a minute.  It’s mostly been falling apart – like I’m on a really long tumble dry cycle.  Even as I write this I can feel it the churn begin to turn.  Who keeps dropping the quarters in the machine, I’d like to know.  But yesterday, I could start to smell that fresh scent of clean clothes.

The day started very messy, however.  Woke up late – my phone died last night – not just battery flat died but body and soul died.  I guess the soul never dies, even on my phone.  It’s all still happening, I just can’t get to any of it.  Especially the website  I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure has the truck I can’t stop thinking about.  Better late than never they say and especially when it comes to a gorgeous spiritual fellowship on a Saturday morning, so I stop freaking out, throw on some clothes and we begin a faster drive to make up time.

The topic people are speaking of is amends making and that’s why I’m here.  I’ve been perfecting the art of asking for forgiveness and try to offer it (to and from others) all the while the idea of self-forgiveness eluded me.  But that one warm autumn day in an old train depot I’m getting ready to bike the 400 trail – the only thing I know to do in the situation I’m in – the idea was presented to me and I’ve been coming to these meetings ever since.  Sounds great doesn’t it?  Yeah, I thought so too.  But as with all paths to something new and wondrous there’s the other part, the rough and emotional part of clearing out the old and cherished.  Things that have been with me for a long time that are in the way, some even in direct contradiction to this new that I want.  It’s not easy.  Worth it, but not easy.

The company I find myself in while doing it makes it easier.  Inspires me.  “We learn to expect the best and get it!” That’s a promise.  And that promise is coming true today.  I go into this day emotional and I’m glad I’m in St. Pete.  It feels like home without the snow.  I suggest we bike to brunch – two of my favorite things together.  We head towards the water, another natural draw at times like these and pedal past a place with bright blue umbrellas and chair cushions to match.  It pulls me in.  The server is gracious, the drinks stellar and the coffee strong.  The place feels like I’m at a hotel, waking up in a strange place on vacation.  I love that feeling.  I relax into this vacation invitation and open the newspaper.  This day is full of promise.  And sunshine.

I get my phone fixed just in time to get to the car lot…in Holiday, Florida no less.  I expect the reality