I swore I’d never sound like all the old people I heard say this.  Well, let me tell ya, living on wheels….it is always something.  I am one of those people.

“If you own stuff, you are always fixing stuff,” Robert says as he waits for me to hop on the back of the 4-wheeler with the tools and jack so he can fix the flat tire on my camper.  It’s true, I’m thinking, unless you rent.  Which makes me think that I’ve been a renter, and not just physically, all my life.  I borrow, I visit, I dip my toe in, but as soon as the garbage disposal doesn’t work (probably because I’ve gotten young coconut husks stuck in there again) or it gets too uncomfortable, or it’s not the right temperature, I can call someone, return it, or leave.  The responsibility isn’t mine.  But here’s the thing…..don’t I want the responsibility to be mine?  With responsibility comes great things:

• I get to choose
• I can change it if it no longer suits me….from within it.
• I have the power to decide what I want my experience to be.
• I really do call the shots and taking responsibility doesn’t make me guilty, it makes me free.
• I benefit from all the lessons learned, knowledge gained and blessings bestowed.
• I say the prayer and watch from the front row the prayer get answered so the thing that I was wishing was not happening, yeah, now I’m grateful for it.

Why would I want to give all that away?  To be a victim?  no thanks.  Out of habit?  break it.

When it was my turn to drive the 4-wheeler because Robert left the valve cap down at the garage and he was showing me the buttons and process involved to make it go forward and reverse, that critical little voice started to voice its doubts; but then another voice came in.  A loving voice, an optimistic voice, an encouraging voice; and it made me feel like I could handle it and that I would remember everything he was telling me and that I wouldn’t end up out in the pasture somewhere face down in a pile of horse poop.  And that voice was right.

So with every obstacle, there has been opportunity, and with every challenge that I cursed through, I was blessed in the end.  The other day as I walked back to our RV site at the resort to wait for the maintenance guy to figure out how to get my sway bars on now that someone had taken the handle, I seriously and impatiently asked, “Jesus, must something happen every time I take her out!?”  And I  think He answered me with Big John, who was not only able to use a big, fat wrench and a crowbar to get my truck and trailer together again, but also schooled me in alternative energy and showered me with knowledge of watts and volts and amps while I scribbled on post-it notes in awe of what is all happening and once again wondering why I ever doubt it.  The Chinese symbol for crisis is the same as the one for opportunity, I’m remembering once again and it’s making me smile.

Maybe that’s why I wasn’t that upset when Bill said, “It’s only flat on one side,” as he walked by it this morning.  Not as upset as I was when my truck wouldn’t start at the beach, or at Vic’s, or again at the beach, or at Wal-Mart.  Or when I came out of the gas station, on my way to the mechanic to replace a tire, and the radiator was running out onto the ground.  I guess these things will keep happening at the best possible time with the best possible people around completely cued up and ready to take me to the next level.

I have stepped in; all the way in.  She’s mine, all mine and if she’s not quite right then she’s mine to deal with.  And I’m starting to feel able to handle it.  I’m stepping in in other places too and I’m receiving the benefits there as well.  A Course in Miracles says that the only thing missing is what you haven’t bought.  Feels like the world is bringin it so I can do the same.