I never write about my guys in the beginning.  I never think any of them are going to end up being anything, ever.  I don’t even know I like them right away.  Maybe I don’t really.  I’m usually feeling pretty good with myself and not really thinking about meeting someone – but that’s when I always do.  And then it starts kind of creeping in; these thoughts of affection and these things I notice myself noticing. Like I’m wondering if he’ll make it, if we’ll make it and that’s when I realize that I want us to.  And then I realize that I should’ve been writing about it all along.  And now I’m deep in the unfolding of it and I don’t want to write about it.  I’m floating in it and on it all while chill music plays and we’re lying on my bed and he’s stroking me.  I’m falling and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  Like I finally understand every step that led up to this.  And it all makes sense why nothing else worked out.  I close the camper door on this beautiful night and turn to this beautiful boy in my bed.

He’s like a chocolate tide.  He’s dark and delicious and rocks me in waves.  I give all my boys nicknames – to protect the innocent.  Except they rarely are, innocent.  I like them wild and passionate so they can ravage me and leave me breathless.  Thoughtless.  Defenseless.

On this particular night when this pic was taken, he was telling me how he thought we’d be involved with each other always, in some way, “maybe not romantically, I don’t know, but somehow.”  Bold words from someone who’s only known me for eight days.  But then we go on to have this amazing night and I wonder if he’s right.

We feel pulled to stop at the Freckled Fin – and that he lives by that pull too is a great thing.  There’s a musician on the patio and shortly after we sit down he does “Give Me One Reason” which is kind of my jam.  It shows up often in my life and covered by seemingly every musician I heard the last few months before I left Wisconsin.  Outside the co-op that I wondered as I walked in if I’d run into Frosting and what I’d say if I did.  But I never did.

And I never did turn around.  And if this singer is asking me again, the answer is still a solid ‘probably not’.  I’d like to say a solid ‘no’ but as it shows itself a week or so  later, I’m not out of the woods yet.  And if the Kings of Leon’s, “Use Somebody” is another point he’s now raising, to that I say, ‘yes, yes, yes.’  I could very much use somebody like the body who’s taken me on this lovely dinner date after sunset and Sauvignon Blanc on the beach.  He’s someone I could get under to get over, if you know what I mean.  Ahhh, if I had a dollar for every time someone told me that and for every time I found it to be true.

We start to have an experience, this singer is like soooo good!  Hands in the air like we don’t care.  And I have a revelation that pours out of my mouth:  it’s like you call God and after He answers He puts the phone down, because he’s not taking anyone’s call but yours.  I felt that taken care of and that happy.  Like this night has been laid out for me.  You know the ones; where your hair is great, your clothes are hot, you’ve got all the great lines -and parking spot- and everything is just falling into place.  And you’ve had nothing to do to really organize it, it just seemed to happen; to you and for you.  A gift, from the Universe: “thanks for playing.”

We have a great dinner from a great server.  He brings out our dish with a smiley face made from the garnish.  It’s almost too much.  We drive around after and talk and listen to music and smoke.  And then we’re back on the beach having sex in the front seat of his truck.  Maybe I should have outgrown this by now.  Maybe it’s not age related.  It’s me related – I love sex outside; doing it with the elements – the sound of the waves, watching the wind blow the palm trees.  My bikini on the floor and my thigh in the window.