I have to keep reminding myself of this, because I keep finding myself limiting myself!  I can’t have dinner out because I have company coming – so I guess only one fun thing a night!?  And I just ate out the past two nights – so I guess there’s a limit on how much I can go out.  “Spread it out” I tell myself.  “What the fuck does that mean?”  I tell myself back.  ‘Spread it out’, so it’s limited then?  I know I’ll never be satisfied within a limited idea.  Here’s just another one to be rid of.

I think this limited way of thinking is even worse – it becomes a limited way of doing.  “You attract what you think about,”  I read on Twitter recently,  “Not what you want, but what you think about.”  Wowz, that’s hit me.  I’ll attract limited now.  Great.  Which it felt like I had attracted today.  I feel a bit like I spent part of the afternoon with someone who was repeatedly letting me know in a few different ways, that he’s not available.

I’m never really sure what to do with this information.  I could pull a Meg Ryan in Joe vs. the Volcano, “I have no response to that.”  I would like to at least get to the point where I don’t react to it.  I did start to detach, but then felt bad, re-engaged, and then just ended up pissed.  It felt like it was a no-win any way that I played it.  Maybe it was a win.  Gavin and Emily came over and now I’m chillin and writing; grateful for how it ended up at least – so I must be on the other side of the miracle.